Saturday, January 4, 2014

Sophia's Birth Story

Sophia was due on January 29th 2013, the 12 days that passed that date sucked.  I was certain that I would deliver my baby early because:  I was on my feet all day at work, I walked my dog every day up a steep hill, I ate spicy pinapples, I drank raspberry leaf tea and was religiously going to the gym (which I was told would make for an easier labour) well I was very wrong.     Sophia came one day before my midwives were going to intervene, I did not want that to happen and thankfully on the morning of February 11th I felt something strange a brewin inside of me.                                                                     
I woke up at 3am feeling uneasy and decided to get in the shower to relax but the shower and I did not agree. Instead I paced my living room for 2 hours until my husbands alarm went off. As soon as he woke up I told him that I thought he should stay home because today might be the day! He freaked out and started asking me a bunch of questions about timing contractions but I just gave him the stink eye since I wasn't in a chatty mood.  After he drank coffee and woke up he thought we should call our midwife to let her know whats up, she asked to just listen to me and agreed I should come in as soon as I could leave. After a very uncomfortable 30 min car drive we got to the birthing facility where my doula/great friend Jill and one of my midwives were waiting for me, they immediately started doing what they do and said it was a good thing I arrived when I did because I was already 7cm dilated.
After I got in more comfy attire, I stepped into the warm birthing tub and Tim turned on some music so that I could be as comfortable as possible while in labour.  I was well taken care of by my doula and a couple studentmidwives but a couples hours after my water broke and when I was fully dialated I was not progressing fast enough. We tried all sorts of moves and positions to get baby to come out but she would not budge and I was becoming very eexhausted.  I was at the birth centre for about 11 hours when everyone thought it would be a good idea to transfer me to the hospital. The drive to my hospital took about 20 minutes, the WORST 20 minutes of my life, probably for my hunny too. Sitting in one position was awful for my back ,at the hospital I was made to sit in that same position in the bed the whole time too. The 2nd worst (60) mins of my life were in the hospital room attached to every kind of machine possible not able to sway or walk or stretch. When a woman is in labour she should be able to move !  When the Dr arrived she did an ultra sound and saw that the baby was upside down with her head cocked to the right.  The Dr said she would take me on as a patient if I got an epidural and agreed to a forcept delivery (salad tongs).  Since I basically had no other choice they called the anesthesiologist in and he gave me the epidural but it didn't work so he tried again but still no luck after the third time and only numb legs to show for all his work the Dr came back in with my last option. The Dr told me that I would have to get a spinal tap which would basically  make me  completely numb, in order to do the spinal we would have to be moved to the Operating Room so everyone washed their hands and got suited up and away we went.  As I entered the room the Dr told us that if the forcepts didn't work then we were already prepared to do a c-section, my heart sunk as my dream of having a drug free water birth slipped farther and farther away. The OR was cold and sterile and I didn't recognize anyone besides my pale faced husband who was not doing well with all the needles I was being pokedwith.  The Dr gave me three tries to get the baby out with no luck so my midwife asked that I get one more try and she whispered something in my ear about how strong I am and how my body could do it.  It worked because at 1018pm baby girl Hansen showed up and was immediately placed on my chest but to be honest I don't remember that moment, I just remember my midwife kissing my forehead and congratulating my Husband and I.  I held my baby as my body was put back together and spent then next couple days in the hospital recovering.  It took me a while to come to terms with our birth experience but the nurses at the hospital took excellent care of us and all of my work friends supplied us with delicious meals.  It took my body about a month before I could stand up without cringing and 10 months before I would sleep more then 3hours at a time but Sophia has been more then worth it.

SGH

My Joy.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Being Pregnant

When I was young I never imagined myself married or with children, I never played pretend with my dolls because I didn't like dolls. Actually I was terrified of them because someone thought it was appropriate to let a young child (me) watch a movie about a demon doll and to this day when I see a doll I don't think happy thoughts. When I was young I would read books about imaginary worlds and would watch TV shows about superheros, I lived in my created worlds to deal with a traumatic childhood, it was my coping mechanism and for the most part it worked. I think my imagination kept me away from drugs and alcohol , I also think that the Grace of God kept me safe from things and people that I would not be able to defend myself from. All that to say I didn't have my life mapped out around getting married or having children. When I did eventually meet the man I would marry we didn't know if we would have kids together. Well in October of 2011 my husband told one of his friends that he thinks he is ready to have more kids but he was unsure how to tell me, fast forward 2 months and we are driving home from church and Tim just blurts it out. He tells me that while our pastor was preaching the Christmas story he felt a nudge in his heart to tell me as soon as possible. I was FREAKED OUT. A baby. In me. Pregnant. I would have to be a mom, I don't know how to be a mom. My thoughts went crazy, I struggled to agree that this was the right thing for us, part of me wanted it and the other part was terrified. Early in 2012 we became pregnant. Tim and I were both excited, so much so that he told all of his buddies, I am more reserved when sharing big news so I just kept it in my close circle. Well on March 2nd we miscarried and I was kind of a mess. I didn't realize it would hit me so hard to be unpregnant especially when I was scared of being pregnant. It was hard to tell people the news because I felt like I had to console them and I really didn't want to. After I miscarried I started researching it and found out that it is very common, so much so that some women miscarry and don't even know it. Two months later we were pregnant again but this time I did not tell anyone, not even my husband until I felt I was out of the danger zone of miscarrying. My pregnancy was great. I had no weird cravings, no crazy mood swings, no feet swellings, no high blood pressure and I worked almost all the way until the end of my pregnancy much to the dismay of everyone around me but I hate sitting still and get bored quickly if I don't have a task at hand. My baby was due January 29th and I believe that is where part of her birth story should begin (even though she decided to stay in a lot longer) next post. Leaha